Have you ever really paid attention to the greetings and messages on message machines and cell phone voice mails? Most are pretty average and generic. I’ve heard a few that were way past ridiculous.
I find background noise in a greeting to be very irritating. I’m listening to the message of the person I’m calling and hear ‘Wheel of Fortune’ or children fighting in the background. Did it not occur to you to turn the TV off and find a quiet place to record your greeting?
I have to wonder about people who don’t seem to think when they decide what they’re going to record as their greeting. “Leave a message an’ I’ll call ya’ back.” That’s it? That’s what you want me to hear when I get your voice mail option?
I’m not the least bit interested in why you’re not available to take my call. “Hey, this is Bill. I can’t take your call ’cause I’m probably huntin’ right now.” Deer season ended two months ago. Are you poaching?
I really admire a well thought out and professional greeting. “You’ve reached the voice mail of Bill Johnson. If you’ll leave a brief message with you name and phone number, I’ll return your call. Thank you!” Short, mature and professional.
And then there’s the messages. Oh yes, the messages.
The caller sounds like an auctioneer as he/she speaks at a rate of 500 words a minute. With ‘Wheel of Fortune” and children screaming in the background. And you expect me to understand what you’re saying?
I’ve had people leave messages on my phone that were equal in length to the Gettysburg Address. Is it so important that you must tell me all of this instead of waiting until you get me on the phone? I don’t suppose it ever occurred to you that I might have a response to what you’re talking about.
Another classic is someone I don’t know leaves a message and asks me to return the call without leaving a number! Then they call me three days later and want to know why I didn’t call them back.
I spent 30 years in industrial construction work as a crew foreman. My phone rang on a regular basis. I expressed my aggravation at this one day and a guy on my crew told me “Jim, if you throw your phone in a bucket of water, it’ll quit makin’ that noise.” You have no clue how many times I’ve been tempted to do that.
